


Something to Sing About

by mossadspydolphin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Can't Sing, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Sam Winchester is So Done, dean is a buffy fan i'll fight you on this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28739043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mossadspydolphin/pseuds/mossadspydolphin
Summary: Cas has some misconceptions about television. Dean is trying to clear that up when the conversation takes a sudden and unexpected turn.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 75





	Something to Sing About

“Oh here it _comes_ ,” Dean warbled, not at all along with the music, “here _comes_ the _niiiiii-iight_!”

Sam put his hands over his ears. “Do you intentionally sing off-key? Or is that just an innate talent?”

Dean used the steering wheel as his personal drum kit. “I do it for you, Sammy.”

“I’m flattered,” said Sam. “Now please shut up and put your hands on the wheel before you wrap us around a tree. Even Cas couldn’t help us then.”

“I probably could,” Cas interjected. “I could transport you away before impact, or extract you from the wreckage and heal you. I could not heal the car, though, and I think that would hurt Dean more than any physical injuries he might sustain.”

“Damn straight.” He patted the Impala’s dashboard. “Don’t worry, baby, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I’m not related to you,” said Sam.

“And I’ll never cheat,” Dean continued, largely for Sam’s benefit. “Those other cars in the bunker are just showing off.”

“Dean, when did you last get laid?”

“Still more recently than you, probably. Gotta enjoy life while it lasts.”

“Especially when we seem to die all the time,” Sam said wryly. “God, our lives are weird.”

“Is it normal for hunters to die frequently?” Cas asked. “Buffy Summers died twice.”

Both Winchesters turned to look at Cas. “Say what again?” said Dean, as Sam forcibly turned his face back toward the road.

“Buffy Summers,” said Cas, as if the Winchesters should have expected this. “She’s a hunter with her own television show. Why don’t you and Sam have a television show?”

“Buffy isn’t real, Cas,” said Dean, at the same time as Sam said, “We do not discuss the TV show!”

Dean elbowed his brother. “Buffy’s not real,” he repeated. “She’s just a character on TV.”

“Oh,” Cas said thoughtfully. “That explains why none of the demons looked like any I’d seen before.”

“Yeah, nineties special effects weren’t much,” said Dean. “But hey, as long as we’re talking _Buffy,_ important question: Who does she belong with, Angel or Spike?”

“Why are you like this,” said Sam.

Cas considered the matter. “Neither relationship was very healthy,” he said.

“But if you had to choose.”

Sam buried his face in his hands.

“I suppose she should be with Angel--”

Dean pumped his fist. “Yes! Heavenly approval!”

“--although he has gone on to have feelings for Cordelia.”

“Cordy’s dead.”

“She might come back. Like you and Sam and Buffy.”

“Show’s over, Cas. She’s not coming back, and Buffy is still alive. Waiting.”

“I think Angel is the one waiting for her,” said Cas. “She told him she wasn’t ready at the end of the final season. When she called herself a cookie.”

“And someday she will finish baking and she and Angel will have the future they deserve. Maybe even deal with that whole losing-the-soul issue.”

“Next time you call me a nerd,” said Sam, “I’m going to remind you that you’re forcing your _Buffy_ obsession on an angel of Heaven.”

“It’s not an obsession! It’s the result of intense study of a show that I thought might provide some useful fighting tips.”

Sam snorted. “Sure, you watched it for the fighting.”

“I did!”

“Are you sure that the Buffy show isn’t real?” Cas mused. “She’s a demon slayer, trained by a society of people learned in the ways of the supernatural. How is that so different from what you and Sam do?”

“Because there’s more than just one hunter in the world, and because our resident Man of Letters doesn’t suffer from being a chronic tight-ass. Usually.”

“It sounds like I’m Giles in this setup,” said Sam. “So wouldn’t that make you Buffy?” 

“She’s kickass. I can think of worse characters to be. Hey, what about Cas? Who’s he?”

“Angel, obviously,” said Sam. When Dean threw him a look he said, “What? He’s a literal angel; you can’t pass that up.”

“Yeah, but Angel’s whole thing is brooding and being in love with Buffy. I don’t think Cas exactly fits that profile.” 

“I spend a great deal of time regretting my past actions. And I do love you,” Cas said matter-of-factly, and Dean almost crashed the car.

Cas craned his neck. “Did you hit something?”

Dean pulled onto the shoulder and tried to catch his breath. “Repeat what you just said.”

“I asked if you hit something--”

“Before that.”

“I said that I regret my past actions,” Cas said slowly, “and that I love you. Like Angel.”

“Yeah, but Cas, Angel--the broody one, that is--”

“You brood. You both have a great deal of self-loathing, although in your case it’s far less justified.”

“Cas, please. Look, I know we’re good friends, but Buffy’s Angel, he loves her romantically.” Dean struggled to find a way to describe it. “You know, all the longing gazes and dramatic fights and saying fuck you to the rules--”

“Sounds like you’re describing you and Cas,” said Sam.

“He has a point,” Cas agreed. 

Dean stared into the distance, seeing nothing. “Son of a bitch,” he whispered, and slumped face-first onto the steering wheel.

“God, you broke him,” Sam muttered. “Dean? Do you want me to take the keys?”

“Shut up, Sam, shut up shut up shut up. Shit. Motherfuck.” Dean sat up and resumed driving, albeit rather manically.

“Did I do something wrong?” Cas asked, concerned.

“No, you just surprised him,” said Sam. “A lot. Look, we’ll be home soon; why don’t you two sort this out there, so Dean can get us home in one piece. Once he stops hyperventilating.”

“Shut it, Sam.” Dean’s knuckles were white. He was driving at approximately twice the speed limit, and Sam prayed they wouldn’t get pulled over (“I’m sorry, Officer, my brother was discussing _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ with an angel of the Lord and it turns out the angel’s in love with him and now my emotionally repressed and deeply closeted brother is having a breakdown. Please just give us the ticket and let us go home and pay no attention to the arsenal in the trunk”).

Cas obediently remained quiet for the rest of the trip, although he clearly had many questions. As soon as they reached the bunker Dean parked the car (rather haphazardly, which gave Sam serious cause to worry) and nearly tumbled down the stairs to the door. He had another near-miss on the stairs inside.

“Dean,” Cas begged him. “Please tell me. What’s wrong?”

“Come on, Cas. Not here.” He left the room, almost at a run, and Cas, looking very confused, trailed after him.

Sam watched them go, still not quite believing what had just happened. Then he sank into a chair and burst into helpless laughter.

* * *

About an hour later, Dean came into the library, looking vaguely shellshocked. 

“So, how’d it go? And where’s Cas?”

“Said he had some research to do on his own. And I think I have a...boyfriend now.” He took Sam’s beer and drained it.

“I was going to toast you and Cas with that,” Sam said mildly. “And my newfound comfort; the car’s cramped enough without all the sexual tension.”

“Dude.”

“Just saying. I don’t like to get all up in your business--”

“Not that it ever stops you.”

“--but I was pretty close to dropping the oblivious act and telling you and Cas to get together already.”

“Well, we’re together now. Happy?”

“Yeah. Honestly, I’m really happy for you. And I’m proud of you, too--”

“Oh, no,” said Dean. “You definitely have a speech. I do not want the speech.”

Sam shrugged. “Well, I’m here if you want to talk.”

“And that’s why I don’t.” Dean pointed at Sam with the bottle he was still holding. “You’ll probably want to bake me a cake or some shit. Cas and I are a thing. Nothing else to talk about.”

“Got it.” Then what could only be described as an evil smile crossed Sam’s face, and he got up and engulfed Dean in a smothering hug. “You are so _wonderful_ and _brave_ and an absolute _role_ model--”

“Okay, okay, I get the idea. Fuck off.” He forced his way to freedom. “You give lethal hugs, you know that? You’re like an evil Care Bear or something.”

Sam laughed.

“Now what?”

“I just can’t believe that you and Cas finally hooked up because of _Buffy_.”

Dean stared at him for a second. “You know what, Giles is too good for you. You are definitely Dawn.”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This went from "Cas thinks _Buffy_ is real" to "Dean is a huge _Buffy_ fan and runs with this" to Destiel canonization. Huh.


End file.
